TACOS!
by Queen NekoChan
Summary: In which Darren screams tacos, Harkat has control over time, Mika is a therapist, Larten talks about the wonders of friendship, and Paris is a pedophile. COMPLETE CRACK. Now ongoing too!
1. TACOS!

A/N: I really wanted to write a parody. I don't know why. I was in a sugar rush from that brownie I ate. Then I got the sudden urge to write something. So here it is. Enjoy!

"TACOS!" Darren screamed at the top of his lungs. Mika stared at him, sighing deeply.

"Now, Darren, we already discussed this," Mika started. "Tacos are not man's best friend. Wolves are." He paused for a second. "Or was it dogs? Honestly, I don't really understand humans. Wolves are freaking AWESOME!"

"TACOS!"

"SHUT UP DARREN!" Harkat yelled from the hallway. "IT'S ALREADY TWO PM! QUIET DOWN AND GET TO SLEEP!"

Mika nodded in agreement. "Yes, Darren, I completely agree with Harkat's statement- er, outburst. While I highly question his knowing of the time, you should stop screaming tacos and get to sleep. Then again, so should I..." He thought for a moment. "Why am I even taking on the role of therapist anyway? That's Larten's job, isn't it?"

"No! I do not want to have a man-to-man talk with Darren! He only screams tacos, anyway," Mr. Crepsley yelled from somewhere.

"TACOS!"

"SEE WHAT I MEAN?"

"Okay, okay!" Mika shouted, exasperated. "Why don't we get Paris intead, if you're gonna be so rude about it?"

"Great idea!" Then Mr. Crepsley somehow poofed into the room with the stereotypical smoke surrounding him.

Mika coughed, saying, "Why the hell is there so much smoke? And how did you even get in here, anyway?"

"The power of friendship~!" Mr. Crepsley answered.

Mika blinked. "Er... okay then. Now, let's go find the old bastard- uh, Paris and dump Darren on him. He probably wouldn't mind anyway. The guy's a pedophile." They then proceeded to enter the Hall of Princes.

Obviously, the door was closed.

"Larten, open the door. I have my hands full with Darren here," Mika said.

"TACOS!"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP?"

"Er, Mika? I can't."

"Can't what?"

"Open the door."

"Hey, I already told you to do that! Don't order a Prince around! Jerk..." Mika yelled.

Larten sighed in exasperation. "Mika, it is currently impossible for me to open the door."

"Why?"

"Because only Princes can open the door, and if you hadn't yet realized, I am not a Prince."

Mika rolled his eyes. "Psh. This is a fanfiction, and a parody at that. The author will probably ignore that little detail anyway. Plus, even if we do go by the books, then you, Daren and Paris shouldn't even be in this. You guys already died."

"What?"

"Uh, never mind! Just try to open the door, will you? Darren is trying to eat his foot."

"TACOS!"

"YOUR FOOT IS NOT A TACO DARREN!"

The three of them entered the Hall after Larten somehow managed to open the door. For some odd reason, Paris seemed to be the only one in there. Mika shivered in fear.

The guy really was a pedophile.

"Ah, Darren!" Paris exclaimed, sweeping past Mika and Larten to greet Darren. "What a pleasure to see you here!"

Mika snorted in response. Paris just glared.

Darren blinked, seeming to come back to reality. Noticing the fact that his foot was, for some strange reason, residing in his mouth, he spit it out and asked Paris, "Hey, Paris, I was wondering... well, never mind. It's stupid anyway." Darren blushed.

Paris' face glowed with hope. "What? What is it, Darren? You know you can tell me anything."

"Well, I was just wondering..."

"Yes?"

"Well, maybe..."

"What is it?"

"How should I put this..."

"JUST SPIT IT OUT!"

"I was wondering of you were THE Paris," Darren quickly replied, closing his eyes in anticipation.

"...What?"

"Well, you know those Greek myths? Like, a really long time ago, the goddess Aphrodite made Helen of Troy fall in love with this guy named Paris, I think... Well, I'm not really sure. There was something about an apple, and then Helen ran off with Paris, and that somehow sparked the Trojan War to life, and... Eh, I forgot. But I REALLY wanna know if you're the Paris from the story."

Paris, meanwhile, was in his Corner of Gloom. Think Tamaki fom Ouran High School Host Club, if you've ever read that.

"Er, Paris?" Mika hesitantly asked. "Are you alright?"

"No... I'm not alright..." Paris mumbled from his corner. "The love of my life asked me if I was some old Greek pervert..."

Larten snorted. "Please. You wouldn't know love if it hit you in the face."

Paris whipped around to reprimand him, but something hit him in the face and fell to the floor. Curious, Paris picked it up and examined it. It was red with glitter and sparkles, heart shape, and in the middle were big letters that spelled "Love". "Hey, what's this? What are these symbols in the middle?" Paris asked.

Larten snorted and whispered to Mika, "Told ya."

Everybody was too preoccupied to notice Darren, who had gone back to screaming tacos.

To be continued... Maybe... I don't know, it depends.

A/N: ...Yeah, don't ask. I was feeling really hyper from that sugar rush and just started to type what first came to mind.

I was obviously thinking about tacos.

So, yes, if you are wondering, I will continue this, but only if you want me to. If you don't want me to, then just slowly back away from the computer and forget this ever existed.

Good day. 


	2. In Which Arrow and Vancha Arrive

**A/N: ...Wow. You people obviously liked this, even though it's complete nonsense.**

Paris, who had decided that the weird glittery thing that hit him was pretty enough to keep, stared. It wasn't quite clear what exactly he was staring at; he was just staring. Mika waved a hand in front of his face, but Paris didn't budge. Larten spit on him, but that didn't earn a reaction either. Darren screamed tacos, but that did nothing once more.

"I think we broke him," Mika stated. "Years of pedophilia finally caught up with the poor guy."

Larten waved a hand. "Psh. Pedophilia was the only choice he had. What else can a 700 year old guy do?"

"Well, Seba's only about 100 years younger-"

"Mika."

"Yes?"

"Don't even think that."

Silence reigned, and even Darren didn't scream tacos. For some odd reason, they all started staring too. It was just a question of what they were staring at. (Though one could probably now guess what Paris was staring at - his eyes turned to Darren, whose jaw was dropped in awe, but his gaze seemed to be lower than it should for some reason. I wonder why.)

Of course, one didn't exactly expect Arrow to come barging in riding a horse.

"TALLY-HO!" he yelled. "I SEE SOMETHING STRANGE IN THE DISTANCE! CAPTAIN, PREPARE FOR COMBAT ON THE EASTERN SIDE!"(Just for you little kiddies who fell in love with Arrow.)

Vancha, who appeared out of nowhere, looked through his giant magnifying glass (so big it had to be held with both hands) and responded, "I SEE WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, GENERAL! MEN, GRAB YOUR ARMS AND TAKE AIM! THIS WHALE AIN'T GOING TO KILL ITSELF, YOU KNOW, AND TOD IS TERRIBLE AT TELLING STORIES! (1)"

Darren, who saw what was happening, shrieked and quite literally jumped into Paris's arms, who let out a dreamy sigh. Larten and Mika were just wondering what in the h-e-double-hockey-sticks was going on.

"STEADY, AIM, AND... FIRE!" Arrow yelled at an army of vampires who decided to appear out of nowhere, and suddenly harpoons and rifles were shot, despite the "no long-distance weaponry" rule the vamps had. Darren screamed like a little girl in Paris's arms, who was daydreaming about... things that are very inappropriate for this T-rated fanfiction. Wait, is this rated K, K+, or T? I forgot. No, seriously, I really forgot. Can any of you tell me what this is rated?

Larten and Mika were yelling at the mentally challenged vamps that no, they really weren't whales and whales can't exactly live in these dry conditions anyway, though they can have Paris if they want. To everybody's surprise, though, the rifles and harpoons were aimed above their heads, and instead the ammo hit something from above. An odd noise was heard, and out of nowhere a killer whale fell from the ceiling, holes in its skin. The vampire army cheered, along with Arrow and Vancha. Darren started cheering too just for the fun of it, tacos completely forgotten, though Paris, Larten, and Mika stared in shock at the large ocean animal that seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

It was in those circumstances that Desmond Tiny arrived.

**(1) I've never read Moby Dick, but I've heard that it was very boring to read about a guy chasing a whale.**

**A/N: Sorry it's short. Hope you thought it was funny though. Now I need to go read me some TVF... (P.S. The part about the rating wasn't me joking. Seriously, guys, WHAT THE HECK DID I RATE THIS THING?)**


End file.
